To Charlie's Extreme Embarassment
by Ember Sage
Summary: Charlie comtemplates the happenings that took place in the Twilight Saga, and learns a little bit more about the more mysterious Cullen couple... Somewhat romantic, hopefully humorous, and mostly fluff. Please enjoy. Canon pairings, general POV


**Just a little something I cooked up in apology for my extreme lack of updates lately... Enjoy. :D**

**Not S.M.**

Charlie really wasn't a prying man, considering his profession.

As a police chief, it was his job to pry. Whether prying meant snooping around the diner downtown to figure out who might be the culprit of the graffiti continually being sprayed by the back dumpster, or watching old security tapes to find out who was taking a candy bar from the gas station on the outskirts of town every night. So, prying really was a job requirement.

But that was the key word, job.

He tried to leave the natural inquisitive nature at the station, and usually that was okay. He lived alone, and he preferred to leave everybody else's business alone.

But then Bella, his daughter, moved in with him. His ex-wife was traveling with Bella's new step-dad, and Bella didn't want to be a burden.

She was a good kid though, a lot like Charlie himself. Laid back, honest, kind of quiet. But she got her curiosity from Renee.

It all started when she started getting involved with that Cullen boy, Edward.

Now, Charlie had heard only good things about the Cullen kids. Sure, there were plenty of rumors, most of them horrible, but Charlie didn't listen to rumors.

Carlisle Cullen was a good man, good doctor, and Charlie thought he seemed to be a good enough father. Now, that wasn't saying that sometimes Charlie thought Carlisle, the whole family really, was just a little bit…. off.

He had never become well acquainted with the Cullens, because, like himself, they kept to themselves.

They lived up in a huge ol' mansion just outside of Forks. Surrounded by dense trees and sparse life save for the animals, mostly deer, that inhabited the many forests around, it made the Cullens seem even stranger, just a tad more odd.

But, Charlie, easygoing as he was, went on his merry way, ignoring any rumors that filled the town with contempt and disdain, and tried his best not to judge the parenting styles of Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

But as soon as Bella moved here and started…. dating…. Edward, Charlie couldn't help but get involved. This was his daughter after all, his only remaining family. He had to pry; it was his sole, most important job as a father.

And so, when his fellow officers sat around the card table eating chips and playing poker and talking about where the best fishing had been this weekend, Charlie had done a little investigating.

He started with their records. This was, of course, not breaking any rules. He was police chief after all. But still, he looked at them in the privacy of his small, cubicle type office.

What he found was shocking. The records were immaculate, starch clean, for every single one of the Cullens.

Two young parents, at least ten years younger than himself, with five teenagers in the house. One of these parents which were at a hospital for most of the day. And absolutely no trouble.

Either Esme and Carlisle really were miracle parents, or they were just really good at cleaning their tracks.

He tried to be a trusting man though, and what he had heard about the Cullens was spectacularly good, so, he decided they were okay. But that didn't mean he still didn't like Edward.

And over the next two years, his dislike for Edward grew slightly. He made her leave Forks, drive to Phoenix in the middle of the night by herself, and in turn she fell down two flights of stairs and through a window.

And then, he left her, out of the blue. She was a wreck for months, close to catatonic, and Charlie panicked. He didn't know what to do, how to deal. But then she became close to Jacob. Charlie liked Jacob, thought they would make a good couple. And he thought Bella had thought so too.

But then Bella goes gallivanting off somewhere, and in turn, the Cullens return. Supposedly, it was rumored that Edward had been suicidal. Charlie still wondered why though.

And then, to top it all off, they get engaged and married right out of high school. Just when Charlie was starting to not mind Edward…

He was tempted to pull out his shotgun when Bella and Edward had told him the news.

But he was happy, because Bella was happy. And that was all that mattered. But he still didn't like Edward.

And so, they get married, and head off to South America. South America for god's sake! Whatever happened to good old Florida or Hawaii?! And then, when they return, he received a call informing him that Bella is in critical condition from some contracted South American disease!

He really didn't like Edward then.

But finally, after many anxious weeks of waiting and nerve-wrecking pacing, with very few updates, he finds out that Bella is getting better.

The world is starting to return normal, until the fateful day that Jake, Jake, his best friend's son Jake, comes and tells Charlie he's a werewolf.

Bout gave Charlie a heart attack he did.

And so, he was pulled into a world of mystical creatures and magic of some sort. But he didn't really want to know any of that. So, they put him on a need to know basis.

And he meets Nessie, and reunited with his daughter. But when Charlie sees Nessie, he knows immediately that Bella was really isolated, with some rare South American disease all these weeks.

Nessie was her daughter. How could they expect him not to notice that Nessie was the spitting image of Edward and Bella. Charlie really hated Edward right then.

Charlie didn't try to let on that he knew though. Less he knew, the better… not that he really understood any of it anyway.

And so, while Charlie still didn't really like Edward, over those couple of years he grew quite attached to the other younger Cullen, Alice.

She always was a perky thing, going around with a smile on her face all of the time. Very cheerful, though she didn't always look so good. In fact, none of them really did. Always had purple shadows under her eyes, real pale too. Never ate when she came over. Neither did Edward. Always said they had already eaten, or weren't hungry. He didn't question them though.

And so, when he began to visit their home more often to visit his daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter, his suspicions of what they really were grew.

He didn't say anything though, thought it was better that way. And he was probably right.

He watched the family in fascination, noticing how different they seemed in their home than they were in public.

For one, he noticed more definitive relationships.

Esme and Carlisle acted less like parents, and more like teenagers themselves in the comfort of their own home. He also observed the relationships between the other Cullen children.

Though he had never asked them to confirm his suspicions, he assumed that Rosalie and Emmett were married.

He could vaguely remember Edward or Bella informing him on a wedding right out of college, a simple family affair, sometime ago…

But the relationship between Alice, his almost second daughter, and her mysterious companion, remained a mystery.

He knew there was a romantic relationship between them, this had been confirmed by Edward and Bella, but they had never gone into exact depths of their real relationship.

He had seen them casually exchange a kiss, usually on the cheek, holding hands, that type of thing. But he really didn't know Jasper Hale, and he distrusted the boy.

Something about Jasper made him uneasy.

For one, the boy rarely smiled. He had deep, often dark, haunting eyes. He was often staring into space, always on the edge of the family activities. Even in the comfort of his own home, he seemed like a pretty somber fellow.

Exactly the opposite of always cheerful and completely optimistic Alice.

He worried about her too, especially since she was so small. He didn't doubt that she could protect herself, but he still worried.

She really was like a second daughter to him. And so he worried.

He didn't trust that Jasper kid. He often looked worse off than the others, eyes darker, shadows more defined.

And then there were the scars.

He did notice the scars that criss-crossed patterns across the boy's arms and face. In his own home, he wore t-shirts instead of the usual sweaters and long-sleeved shirts and jackets he usually adorned, even in summer.

Charlie made assumptions of course, from everything from childhood abuse to some kind of freak accident to self abuse. He wasn't sure exactly. But the boy was intimidating, even to a police chief, and Charlie asked no questions.

But then, one day, his questions were finally answered.

It was a particularly dismal day in Forks. The storm above raged on, and Charlie had the day off, and so he decided to make a surprise visit to the Cullen mansion.

Of course, these visits never seemed to surprise the family. They always seemed to know when he was coming…

He drove slowly down the windy bend to the secluded home deep in the woods, his windshield wipers waving furiously against the pouring rain.

When he reached the house, he got out quickly, having forgotten his beaten up umbrella back at his house.

He stuffed his hands in his police chief jacket, and walked quickly up the steps to the front door.

He took the stone steps two at a time and quickly ducked under the porch awning.

He shook his hair slightly so as not to let any water drip when he was inside.

The Cullens always had a spectacularly clean home, for how many people it housed.

He opened the front door then, not even bothering to knock. They told him it was unnecessary, and he really didn't want to know why exactly that was.

There were no lights on though, when he entered the house. He thought that was strange, because it seemed whenever he entered there were many if not all of the Cullens gathered in the large living room of the home.

He heard voices though, from down the hall, from the family room, and walked down the hallway, his damp socks leaving a dark trail of moisture on the bamboo floor. He reached the end of the hallway but stopped when he found the sight that occupied the room.

A couple lay stretched out on the long leather couch. Jasper lay beneath Alice, his large hands resting gently on her small back.

They were kissing passionately, and Charlie flushed bright red. Obviously it was from him that Bella had inherited that somewhat annoying habit.

He didn't want to interrupt, but he didn't want to stand there looking like an idiot for eternity until they noticed him.

He cleared his throat and knocked slightly on the white wall nearest him.

They broke apart to look at the interruption. Charlie flushed harder, if that was possible.

When they saw that it was him, they quickly got up.

Jasper looked almost the same as always, passive, but this time, he had a small smirk on his face. Most likely at Charlie's extreme embarrassment.

Alice, also, seemed the same. Smiling, without a hint of apology. Completely unabashed. She was a psychic; after all, it hadn't been a surprise to her that Charlie was coming. Jasper, too, had known. Humans could be scented from miles away. And Charlie wasn't exactly the quietest of his kind…

"Charlie!" Alice exclaimed. "What a surprise! We weren't expecting you. Didn't Bella tell you that she and the rest of the family were taking a hiking trip this weekend?"

When Alice said that, Charlie briefly remembered Bella mentioning about that. But he was getting older, and his memory wasn't as good as it used to be…

"I'm very sorry," Charlie said in a gruff voice, still slightly flushed, "I completely forgot. I'll just be on my way now," and he turned back the way he had came, intent on getting out of there as fast as he could.

"Nonsense!" Alice chirped, "Stay and talk with us! We're somewhat lonely since everyone's gone."

Charlie sincerely doubted that.

"If you insist," Charlie muttered, still slightly embarrassed. He wanted to get to know this Jasper character more. Obviously the two were very involved.

"Go ahead; sit down, do you want anything to drink, coffee or anything?" Alice continued, leading Charlie over to the cluster of chair around the antique looking coffee table.

"Sure, coffee's fine. I'll take it black though. Thank you," Charlie muttered, sitting down, staring at the floor, nervous under Jasper's penetrating gaze.

"No problem," Alice said kindly, smiling one last time before flitting off towards the kitchen.

After Alice left the room, Charlie and Jasper did nothing but sit in somewhat uncomfortable silence for a few moments.

But then Jasper spoke.

Charlie couldn't remember when he had actually spoken with Jasper. The first time he had really spent any time with him was at Bella's wedding, but he had stayed at the edges most of the time, by Alice's or Emmett's sides.

When he spoke though, Charlie marveled in curiosity at the sound. It was smooth and somewhat melodic like the others', and like his daughter's now sounded, but at the same time, it was more coarse, more pained, than the others'.

Jasper said, "You worry that I hurt her, or will. You think she's too good for me. You're scared for her."

Charlie looked up to meet Jasper's gaze, newfound confidence surging through him.

"Yes, I do worry," Charlie admitted truthfully, "but Alice is like a second daughter to me. And I don't even really know you. You both seem so committed, even more so than Bella and Edward. As if you've been together forever…"

Jasper smirked at that, but Charlie did not see the humor.

They were silent for another few moments before Jasper spoke up again.

"If it gives you any consolation Charlie, I don't think I'm good enough for Alice either. And I would never hurt her, I promise you. I would destroy myself before I did that.

The word 'destroy' instead of 'kill' did not go unnoticed by Charlie, but he did not question Jasper's choice of words.

They were silent for a few more minutes before they were once again joined by Alice.

"Here's the coffee, Charlie!" Alice said cheerfully. She acted as if she had not heard a word they had said.

"Thanks, Alice," Charlie responded, and gratefully accepted the mug.

His gaze was caught however by the sparkling piece of jewelry on Alice's fourth finger. He had never noticed it before, though he did suppose that his own daughter was already happily married.

Alice and Jasper followed Charlie's surprised gaze, and Alice smiled wider.

Charlie looked up and tried to ask as nonchalantly as he could, saying, "When did you two get married? I don't remember Bella mentioning anything…"

Charlie was sure he wouldn't have forgotten Bella telling him something as important as that, and Alice certainly hadn't informed him. He was a little hurt at this.

Alice walked over to the couch where Jasper was currently seated and sat down before saying, "Are you sure you want me to answer that question Charlie? You did request a need-to-know basis…"

Charlie looked down at his feet and mumbled, "I do want to know when my daughter's best friend got married though, I don't think you'll reveal that much to me by answering this one…"

Alice glanced at Jasper out of the corner of her eye. He nodded slightly, but so slightly, a human eye could not have possibly have picked it up.

Alice took hold of Jasper's hand and looked Charlie in the eye before saying directly to him, "We've always been married since I've known you Charlie."

Charlie's eyes widened a little at this, but did not express his surprise in words, but waited for her to continue.

Jasper chuckled quietly at his reaction, and Alice said, "We've been married for… a while."

"How… how…." He sputtered out, and then groaned, "ugh… never mind…. I don't want to know."

"And I wanted to tell you Charlie that I'm in good hands. Jasper would never let anything happen to me, although I am not totally incapable of defending myself…"

At this she gave her a husband a pointed look, but his face remained passive.

Charlie nodded, still slightly in shock.

There was somewhat of an awkward moment then, and Charlie sipped his coffee, still staring at the floor, taking it all in.

Charlie finished that cup in what seemed to be hours, but it was not quick enough for either Charlie nor Jasper.

Alice, of course, was somewhat finding the situation humorous.

Charlie stood up when he was finished, setting the cup down on the coffee table, and announced, "Well, I really should be going. Billy's coming over later, and so is Sue, she's bringing pie."

Charlie tended to ramble when he wasn't sure of what else to say.

Alice nodded understandingly, and though she was somewhat disappointed he was losing so soon, she said, "Of course, of course, totally understandable. We'll see you to the door."

And so she took Jasper's hand and the couple followed Charlie to out the front door and onto the porch.

Charlie turned around when they reached the top steps, and said, "Thanks for the tea Alice, and I'll be over again soon, when Bella's here."

Alice hugged him quickly and Charlie hesitantly shook hands with Jasper.

Alice and Jasper watched from the porch, under the awning, for it was still raining, and waved to Charlie as he got into his car and began backing down the long drive.

As Charlie pulled out of the driveway, he glanced back at the house from his rearview mirrors. The couple had turned around, Alice tucked under Jasper's arm, and they were walking back through the front door.

"Well," Charlie mused to himself, "at least she's happy. But I still don't like him. Damn Cullen boys… can't trust any of 'em…"

Back at the house however, Jasper turned to his wife once they had once again made it back to the living room.

"You did that on purpose," he accused her, and she smiled in response.

"Hey, I just wanted him to get to know you a little bit more. You really should try to relax just a little more when he comes over. No wonder he thinks you're bad for me! You look like you want to brutally murder him everytime he tries to strike up a conversation."

This time it was Jasper's turn to grin. He leaned down to breathe onto Alice's milky white neck, "Maybe it's because… I'm a vampire."

Then he laughed quietly and kissed Alice's neck before turning and flying up the stairs to their room.

She laughed and went to follow him.

"Now…" she thought, "where were we…"

_ - Fin -_

_I hope you all liked it! I should be updating my other stories lately, and please check out my profile for the **poll** currently posted there of what I should do next. :D It would be greatly appreciated if I could get your opinion. This story was my first shot at Charlie, so I hope it didn't totally suck. We don't have as much information about Charlie as the other characters in the books, so I wanted to get to know him better, and this was just a situation I thought would be humorous and interesting to write about. I hope you liked it though, and though they are not necessary, critisim and reviews are greatly, greatly, appreciated. :D_

_-Ember Sage_


End file.
